These boots are made for camping

Epic directional fail on Monday kept me from participating in the very first session of the “fitness boot camp” I signed up for. Better directions, but no coffee, in hand this morning, I found the place.

There are a whole host of reactions after the jump.

  • I am not a morning person. I am doubly especially not an early-morning person. I am an afternoon and evening person. The difference in my capability and performance is, literally, orders of magnitude. At 4pm, I can bang out fifty pushups, a couple dozen pullups, some deadlifts, and some squats, and be warm, sweaty, and ready for a shower. At 6am, twenty pushups is pushing it; doing tougher variants (hands together, plyometric, etc) is the limit of my capability.  In short, before the sun is up, I am a mere mortal.
  • My Vibrams, while good for a vast number of fitness-related endeavors, are not well-suited for stepping in a puddle in 40 degree weather, followed by an hour of jumping around on an asphalt slab. I drove the entire 45 minutes to my office with the heater in my car on, blowing through the floor vents, to coerce my toes from numbness, through pain, to something resembling mild discomfort. I’m wearing my running shoes next time.
  • I have a large bullseye on my chest, for a number of reasons.
    • I’m the only guy, in a group of maybe two dozen. I’m probably around the median age (it looked to be a fairly uniform distribution of stay-at-home moms & other homemakers, with some college kids or other youngish semiprofessional types).
    • The instructor pegged me as one of the more-fit members of the group.  I can’t dispute that, but, as noted in the first point, above, my lack of prowess at this time of day, combined with my need to get my cardio up to a level where I’m happier with it, means I’m not running circles (figuratively speaking) around the other participants. This is fine, since I’m merely working to improve my own condition, but it’s still annoying.
    • The instructor also, somewhat ominously, as a combination of the previous two points, and probably abetted by the cursory correspondence we exchanged when I signed up for the course, said, “I’ve been thinking about you all week.” I am attempting to parse this as my being an outlier to her usual trainees, so she’s got the challenge of adapting her usual routine to someone who might be able to do stuff differently. My initial impression is that I think she’ll do all right in that regard, which I’ll detail in the workout recap.

So, there’s the context. The workout itself was a fairly comprehensive, full-body cardio routine. This may not be a perfect recap, because, as I may have mentioned, it was REALLY FUCKING EARLY in the morning.

Warmup: Jumping jacks, shadow boxing, running in place, squats


Circuit 1 (three times): Pushups (I got singled out to do tricep or plyometric/clapping ones), resistance band chest press (partner held the bands from behind you), side plank holds w/ twist & crunches.

Circuit 2 (three times): Upright partner rows with the resistance band, squat thrusts, and then mogul skiing hops.

Circuit 3 (two times): Front delt raises, lateral delt raises, curls. I used 10# kettlebells for the raises, and supplemented these with a resistance band for the curls.



  1. HAHAHA! “She’s been thinking about you all week” means she thinks from your correspondence that you’re a “know it all” and has singled you out for EXTREME ass-kicking… as Pavel says, “Enjoy the Pain”

    Bring a chuck bucket next time… that’s my advice.

    • Any kind of moderately intense crap before about 8am makes me feel like shit, so that’s not exactly a challenge. 6pm is go time. 6am is “are you fucking kidding?”

      Since I have Monday off from work, I told her I might attend one of the later sessions so she could see the guy she was probably expecting to show up. Heh.

      • uh oh, she might make special plans for you then! I know what you mean about mornings though, especially with more endurance type things they throw at you at bootcamps, I gave 100% effort at a trainer friend’s 7am bootcamp and was glad it was dark out so no one could see how green in the face I was….

        • That’s entirely possible, and, really, it’s fine by me. The problem, such as it is, was that I would be doing these moves without having any concept of how long the set was supposed to last. It’s a totally different level of effort if you know you’re doing 20 reps vs 2 minutes, for instance. By the same token, I don’t want to sandbag and short-change myself. I’d rather push fairly hard and need to ease up at the end, rather than hold back and not get as much out of it as I could.

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