Some things are easy to gauge — strength and endurance and weight — because we have the tools at our disposal to measure them. Other things are trickier — sleep quality, or various nutritional balances — but still within the realm of doable for someone who is attentive and attuned to how their body works. But for some things, there’s no real substitute for professional diagnostics and evaluation.
And this brings us to today’s subject, which is going to come as something of a surprise to most readers.
Your not so humble scribe has what has somewhat coyly become known as “Low T.”
This has been met with frank, laughing disbelief by some longtime friends and readers (and, honestly, I can’t say I blame them). When I pointed out that, no, I’m looking at the results of the blood work I had done as part of my annual physical, and I have about half of what’s considered to be the threshold for “low” and between one third and one sixth of what’s “normal” (per the parameters on my medical report), the response has been, “No shit? You’re not kidding?”
Nope. The version of me that everyone’s gotten familiar with — fuzzy, relatively strong, fairly unabashedly masculine — is the decaf or unleaded version of what I’d be were my T levels where they ought to be.
So, not being at all shy about better living through chemistry, this is going to be addressed via pharmaceutical intervention (specifically, a topical cream, since it’s obvious that taking Tribulus terrestris twice a day is either not doing anything, or not doing enough). It would not be understating things to say that I’m excited and a bit anxious about this. Feeling better and stronger? Yes fucking please and thank you.
There’s supposedly some kind of stigma associated with having an early onset of andropause, presumably due to some macho bullshit about “being less of a man.” Anyone who thinks I’m insufficiently manly is welcome to say so, and be met with gales of derisive laughter. Instead, my nascent Pollyanna bullshit attitude is left wondering, “Jesus fuck, if this is what I’m capable of when I’m firing on three cylinders, how much ass am I going to kick when my shit’s squared away? You people are so screwed.”
Which, of course, makes today’s Yahoo horoscope that much fucking funnier:
Some very exciting news will light a fire under you today, and it will get you moving in a new direction. But beware — it might also cause you to leap before you look. Make sure to listen carefully, so you totally understand what’s going on around you — that golden opportunity you think is right around the corner might require a little bit more effort than you are prepared to put forth. All the information you need is right in front of you — use it to make your decision.
- The Anabolic Truth of Andropause (drkennethorbeck.com)
- Andropause: The Syndrome of Low Testosterone (drjosephmazzei.com)