I am one of the pilot participants in Fitocracy’s online coaching program, so if you want to get my brains-on advice to whip your ass into shape in the tender, loving, and inexorably enabling way you’d expect from Yours Truly, they’re offering my services at a bargain introductory rate, with the beatings to commence on February 17th.
If you or someone you know is terrified in a good way of giving this a try, feel free. I won’t be crueler or kinder to friends, frienemies, or total strangers.
 Which is to say, if you say you want to accomplish something, I will not let you give up. I am a right fucking bastard like that.
Since the TBT ( “total body training”) thing I’ve been noodling with for the first/last few weeks since I was cleared to lift is insufficiently structured to work for me; I’m getting my form back, but not making any kind of coherent progress. So, with that in mind, I’m poring through my training logs and previous programs to figure out what to hitch my wagon to.
Regain strength and size without undue risk of re-injuring my repaired shoulder. Improve conditioning.
My own push/pull/stand act (whether that’s my 15/9/3+ thing or a more TBT-style 3×20/15/8 rep system)
5/3/1’s “Boring But Big” variant
Starting Strength / Stronglifts / similar 5×5
Smolov-style single-lift focus (probably squats, with a beginning 1RM of 335 to play it safe)
Suggestions from the readership are welcomed, with greater consideration given to documented, first-hand performance improvement by the advocate.
Objects in selfie may not be as buff as they apppear.
So, after some entertaining yoga with a local friend, and helping her test her OHP, Bench, and Deadlift out, as well as show her some kettlebell basics, I wanted to do some strength work of my own. I had hoped to have my new plan in hand today, but it’s the holiday weekend and I only got my 1RM info to my coach the day before yesterday; I should have it soon and will begin attacking it presently.
Since I am perennially a man without a hat, I can make that joke in conjunction with taking delivery of my new EFTS safety squat bar.
Did some empty bar reps in the living room to get a feel for it after I attached the handles. I think it’ll work out well.
Now, if I can dispel the tightness, soreness, and swelling from my right ankle/calf/knee so I can try and squat heavy to explore my approximate 1RM tomorrow, that would be lovely. I’ll be thrilled with 405#, and not dissatisfied with anything over 365. Deadlifts are similarly mentally anticipated to have lost about 10% from my PR last year, so 455#+ is really what I’m looking for with a conventional pull.
Benching was a surprisingly non-deprecated 245# (only lost 20# off my PR despite the months and months of injured discomfort and bullshit) and my overhead press was a nearly complete shock – a 15# PR of 180# (I was really hoping for a 1xBW rep @ 190#, but 185# wasn’t getting up more than halfway).
Because everything in the gym is better with ridiculous bets with friends….
Perro Grande mentioned that he’s not gonna shave his sad-ass excuse for a scraggly man-beard until he benches 315×5 (he can hit singles right now); I am considering a similar follicular detente as I make my push for a single or more at 275.
Similarly, we’re both foregoing haircuts until we squat 405.
Things may be getting hairy at the office come springtime; I’m really hoping to hit both of these before March (the bench is about 20# away, but I’m plateaued, and the squat is 70# more than I’ve ever done, but I did 325# 6×3 two weeks ago).
Currently crafting a new lifting routine. The two naming candidates are “BSOD” and “666.” Number of surprised people: 0.
As previously noted, fucking off time is over. My plan right now is to go to six days a week, three lifts a day. This is informed by an amalgamation and distillation of my own experience (independently, as well as my tenure under Josh Bryant’s guidance) combined with a recent exposure to and curiosity about the so-called “Bulgarian” school, tempered by a cursory review of Jason Ferruggia’s program.