The safety dance

Since I am perennially a man without a hat, I can make that joke in conjunction with taking delivery of my new EFTS safety squat bar.

Did some empty bar reps in the living room to get a feel for it after I attached the handles. I think it’ll work out well.

Now, if I can dispel the tightness, soreness, and swelling from my right ankle/calf/knee so I can try and squat heavy to explore my approximate 1RM tomorrow, that would be lovely. I’ll be thrilled with 405#, and not dissatisfied with anything over 365. Deadlifts are similarly mentally anticipated to have lost about 10% from my PR last year, so 455#+ is really what I’m looking for with a conventional pull.

Benching was a surprisingly non-deprecated 245# (only lost 20# off my PR despite the months and months of injured discomfort and bullshit) and my overhead press was a nearly complete shock – a 15# PR of 180# (I was really hoping for a 1xBW rep @ 190#, but 185# wasn’t getting up more than halfway).

By the numbers

Yes, it’s the first of the month/year/thing, and I actually woke the fuck up and busted out the tape measure. Timeliness and shit, not to mention taking full advantage of all the resolutionist momentum that everyone else in the world is going to be bandwagoning the living fuck out of.

So, hey, here’s the state of the meat at the dawn of 2012, going into a de-load week before testing my maxes and moving into the next phase of things.

And, if you’re good, there will be Yet Another Phone Shot (YAPS) to go with each of these updates moving forward. Nothing spectacular, just me, standing around in my office wearing a pair of shorts. No lighting tricks, no flexing, nada. Those conditions are not the case in the photo at left; that’s racking 165 after doing some head-supported rows with the flattering (but very fucking hot) halogen in my garage overhead.

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Valeria revisited


Her. Not the one up there.


Scaled to my weight (170-175#), the “Good” weights are like so:

Bench Press: 135

Pullups: 175 (with weight belt)

Deadlift: 245

EZ Curl: 65

Time (4/18/10): 7:13

Time (2/24/11): 5:06 No wonder it felt so much fucking harder this time – I did the deadlifts before the pullups by accident.

Video of this idiocy behind the cut.

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[WotD] Wednesday, August 11

At lunch, I did something kind of like a blend of uber-noob parkour, play, and dog emulation. I went out on the one-mile loop, and after a two minute warmup run, spotted someone walking their dog without a leash, so I tried to do what the dog did before they went home – bolting, stopping, trotting, and doing a sprinting weave around some decorative palm trees. Once they went home, I continued with these antics – jumping over every fire hydrant, vaulting onto assorted utility boxes, and leaping to grab tree limbs to do pullups.

Then I came back indoors to sweat a lot. Like you do when it’s 90-something degrees out, muggy, and windless.

After hours, it was time to explore 2RM territory in my one remaining lift, the bench press. Having seen Code Monkey put up a very impressive number on Tuesday, I was resolved to best my own 1RM or get squished trying.

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Two By Two

Nothing whatsoever to do with Noah’s Ark. Continuing the exploration of the edges of my personal envelope in the form of 2 rep maxes. Today was Overhead Press and Squats.

Overall results were somewhat mixed, but held some surprises.

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15/9/3+ Overhead Press

In any case, Tuesday was the day I got to see my thoracic/lumbar/pelvic x-rays with the chiropractor. Call it geeky, or nerdy, or dorky, or maybe just morbidly curious, but I was really looking forward to it.

The bad news isn’t all that bad – slight constriction/compression of a couple of disks, and three vertebrae (L2 & 3, T10) are slightly rotated out of proper alignment, and just a hint of asymmetry, bowing towards one side.

The good news was pretty good – other than the above twist and squish, the fore and aft curvature is textbook perfect, my bone density is good (thank you, weightlifting, for both of these) and my hips, despite making interesting popping noises when I move just so, are in perfect alignment.
Having donated blood (double red cells, via the ALYX machine*) yesterday, I got a couple of other positive medical statistics thrown at me as well: BP was 113/63, and my resting pulse, at 1230 in the afternoon, was 51. They haven’t run my cholesterol level yet.

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[WotD] Tuesday, August 3

15/9/3 – Squats

Tried something a little bit different this evening, in the form of box squats. Naturally, I don’t have a real, formal squatting box, this being my first go at these, so I improvised – my old subwoofer enclosure, with one layer of the same high-density foam padding that I laid on the floor on top of it (there were six edge pieces that I didn’t use; these hooked together into three pairs, which were almost exactly the width of the top of the box, and 18″ or so wide – plenty to aim my butt at).

Lunchtime was spent similarly to yesterday – medicine ball slams for a minute, with a 30 second break, some overhead squats with the 10# bar, KB overhead presses, L-sits, back extensions, and assorted other hip and shoulder mobility work. Also did some front tuck levers, and tried descending to a full front lever from being upside-down, and while I wasn’t able to hold it for more than a second, I could feel all kinds of muscles in my mid-back firing that aren’t nearly as engaged in the tuck variant. Definitely bears further work.

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Case of the Mondays

Only got in a lunchtime workout yesterday, due to acute “meh” with a side of DUDE IT’S SHARK WEEK!

In other words, my body had had enough of my overtraining bullshit over the weekend and parked my ass. In a rare fit of good judgement, I grabbed a fistful of Triscuits, a pound of green grapes, and watched Mike Rowe freeze his balls off to tag a Greenland Shark.


Medicine Ball Slams: 3×25 (approx 1 min); 30 sec break between

Plank Holds: 1×30 sec each side, 1×30 sec inverted (ie: facing the ceiling)

Front Tuck Lever: 2×45 sec

FTL pullups: 2×10

Assorted stretching

Ow, my ass

This is not a direct reflection on the DOMS incurred from Tuesday’s squat session, but is instead a reaction to getting several CCs of antibiotics injected to begin the fight against some unwanted microbial interlopers.

Don’t have to take any time off, other than missing the last two evenings.

Overhead press will happen tomorrow, deadlifts Saturday, and bench as usual on Sunday.

Not sure if I’ll do anything special with the deads for my birthday, but we’ll see.

Today’s lunchtime workout was stolen straight from T-Nat.

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Bonnie and Clyde

Well, I’m not an orange ghost, but, what the hell.  I like wind and rain, so TD/TS Bonnie is merely a wide-ranging car wash and lawn care service as far as my stuff is concerned.

Lunch was spent doing shoulder mobility work (scapular protractions & retractions, 3×15 @ 45) along with some capsular stretching.

One more reason for me to love Fridays: Deadlift day!

15/9/3+ Deadlifts (to include an actual “+”)

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