Mudderfuckery

So, I did one of those mud runs (Mudzilla) over the weekend. This was me, trying like hell to remain upright and photogenic, after finishing. I am not fast. I am, in fact, embarassingly slow by my standards… but at least I was as fast as everyone else from my office who participated.

Yes, I have a large grease pencil X on my forehead, because… what are you, new?

Heavy shit

Have some random lifting video from the last couple of weeks, because I’ve been a slacker about posting and my squats have sucked since I got 425#.

 

Batshit

 

My friend Batty put out the call for some real-people versions of those ubiquitous facebook fitness motivational posters.

So, yeah. You knew this was coming.

Project Samson

Because everything in the gym is better with ridiculous bets with friends….

Perro Grande mentioned that he’s not gonna shave his sad-ass excuse for a scraggly man-beard until he benches 315×5 (he can hit singles right now); I am considering a similar follicular detente as I make my push for a single or more at 275.

Similarly, we’re both foregoing haircuts until we squat 405.

Things may be getting hairy at the office come springtime; I’m really hoping to hit both of these before March (the bench is about 20# away, but I’m plateaued, and the squat is 70# more than I’ve ever done, but I did 325# 6×3 two weeks ago).

This is the new shit

Currently crafting a new lifting routine. The two naming candidates are “BSOD” and “666.” Number of surprised people: 0.

As previously noted, fucking off time is over. My plan right now is to go to six days a week, three lifts a day. This is informed by an amalgamation and distillation of my own experience (independently, as well as my tenure under Josh Bryant’s guidance) combined with a recent exposure to and curiosity about the so-called “Bulgarian” school, tempered by a cursory review of Jason Ferruggia’s program[1].

So, here’s how it looks…

Push, pull, and stand

Three moves. That’s it. They cover everything, so you should do them every time you work out.

A move where you push against resistance. A move where you pull against resistance. A move where you stand against resistance.

It’s not rocket science.

I’m crafting a new program for myself to run for the next couple of months (or longer); I’ve been more or less fucking off for the last two months with an experimental sojourn into “adaptive feedback” (which is based on doing what your body responds best to on a given day; while I don’t discount the theory, in practice, it’s simply ill-suited for me and my needs and goals, and it’s entirely too loosely structured and leads to serious slacking off even when you want to bust ass – my most challenging workouts were the ones where I actively lifted against program by saying “fuck it, I’m (deadlifting/benching/squatting) today, I don’t give a shit what my startle reflex or range of motion say about it”) and then did a three-week Smolov Jr bench press program (which, while productive, still felt like three weeks off.  I am a deadlifter, and if I’m not pulling, I don’t feel like I’m lifting.)

So, expect more happening here over the next little while.

Still alive

Took September off, mostly, after Dragon*Con (where “off” is a polite shorthand for “trying to test drive a freind-of-a-friend’s program which just doesn’t work for me”).

Currently doing a three week Smolov Jr. blast to try and break through this nagging bench plateau, and then continuing onward through a Zombie Run in November. Long-term? Maybe a powerlifting meet next summer.

I’d like to bench 315, squat 405 or more, and maybe pull six plates (managed a rack pull of 7 1/2 (715#) over a short ROM, but that feels like cheating).

Same shit, different month. Nothing much to report, except a soft reboot of ShrinkGeek where I rant about BMI being a piece of shit.

Hands-on destruction

Skype + sledgehammer + strength – garage = WIKTORY

Rush Limbaugh is a fat, stupid, lying sack of shit

I figure that headline has better SEO than “Sky blue, water wet.”

It seems the ubiquitous blowhard has finally stuck his dick into my meat-grinder by suggesting that exercise, and the folks who engage in it, are burdensome on the American health care system.

“All you exercise freaks, you’re the ones putting stress on the health care system.” – Rush Limbaugh, 2009

Currents

Current Maxes:

Bench:  255 (tied PR) (missed 265; left hamstring cramped on the grind out of the good lift)

OHP:  165 (+15) (missed 175, left arm/delt was point of failure)

Squat: 325 (+10) (missed 355 because I psyched myself out and made too big a jump in weight, bailed onto catch pegs after getting stapled an inch out of the hole when the arch of my left foot cramped; almost certain I could hit 335 or 345; in all honesty, lifting in a true cage with my head out of my ass, maybe 375)

Deadlift:  505  (didn’t come close to that this week due to travel putting my attempt two days after squatting)